Self awareness is more than just a practice for the hippies and the hipster yoga matcha drinking, goji berry eating people of the world. Self awareness allows you to take better decisions, control your emotions, and also drive yourself towards true fulfillment. Which is what Lifestyle design is all about.
How do you become more self aware? Do you go into the mountains for a month, grow a beard (even if you're a girl), and live on water and wild berries while looking at inspirational quotes from Instagram all day?
No, not really...
Practices like meditation can be useful but not without a clear objective in mind. Learning about what is truly important to you, and about the emotional patterns you run with yourself and others should be the main goal. And the way to do that is not to sit in silence watching paint dry, you won't gain much awareness that way other than being painfully aware that you're bored our of your fucking mind.
First understand what you need.
Just like "Mama Odie" in the Disney movie "Princess and the Frog" wisely stated: "To get what you want you must first know what you need. But is it the same? No!"
Hey don't judge me for watching those movies there is a lot of truth in that scene and it's an awesome movie.
What do you need?
There are 6 human needs that all human beings have and we all have different ways of meeting these needs. The interesting part is that we put different values on these needs, but make no mistake, we all have these needs.
The first 4 needs are the needs of the personality. Any dweeb with half a brain can meet these needs, you can meet these needs by doing missionary work for starving children or by getting 100 piercings in just you left ear. But understanding which of these needs is more important to you and how you meet them goes a long way towards self awareness.
1. Certainty:
The first need is for certainty and it's a survival need, the need for a roof over your head, a source of food and money. Being able to provide for yourself and your family or even just some form of consistency you can depend on.
2. Uncertainty:
Interestingly enough although we need certainty if we knew what was going to happen every minute of every hour of every day, we would be so bored we would poke our own eyes out just to have some sense of adventure. We all need surprises and variety in our lives and we do all kinds of things to get it. From watching a movie to jumping out of a plane.
3. Love / Connection:
Most people settle for a connection with someone because love is too scary and most people are chicken shits. But I know you're not like that, you sexy beast... We all need love or at least a connection with something or someone. And I don't necessarily mean a romantic relationship. It could be a peer group, a pet, children, a book club, or a sports team.
4. Significance:
Like I said we all need love and we also need to feel we are worthy of love, recognition, admiration, and respect. This is why people publish a whole bunch of filtered pictures of themselves on Instagram with deep quotes or dog ears.
Like I said anyone can take care of these four needs in one way or another. Some people fulfill these needs by giving everything they own to charity and others do it by obsessively collecting beanie babies (Yes, I'm that old, ok?). Others do it by inventing new technology and others do it by doing every drug they can get their hands on.
The next 2 needs though, are the needs of the soul. You can only fulfill these needs by doing something that's positive and empowering with your life. But they are still needs, this is why most people who live lives of violence, drugs, and alcohol can never feel fulfilled. You can live without them but you will never be truly fulfilled as a human being without meeting these 2 needs...
5. Growth:
Next is the need to grow as a person, as a spiritual practice, and as a professional. Real happiness comes from progress, feeling like you're on your way to something that excites you can really makes you happy. It motivates you and makes you perform at a whole new level. And it doesn't take huge results to meet your need for growth, it's all a matter of how you judge progress.
6. Contribution:
Life isn't about me, it's about we. And more than some kind of corny phrase this is one of the realest things you will ever find in life. Even in business, do remember that corny quote by Zig Zigglar people are always throwing around?
"If you help enough people get what they want you will always get what you want"
Giving to others and contributing beyond yourself is a sure way to feel completely fulfilled with your life.
The first step to self awareness is to understand which of these 6 needs are the most important for you and how you meet these needs. If you don't like the things you do, think ,and say, you need to find a new way to meet your needs.
And just as an extra tip FREE of charge, in relationships the best way to reignite your love is to make sure you meet your partner's needs in every way.
I realize that I could go on forever about this topic and you've got other unimportant shit to do on the Internet so let's end it here for today and pick it up tomorrow.
Let me know what you think so far, leave a comment down below if you've found out what you need or if you're more confused than ever.
Share this with other lost children and share your new found confusion.
Yamil Senior
Make this a great day.
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